Feelings and Thoughts of a Drugged Woman

Right about now I feel like I don't understand anything. Partly because I'm drugged the fuck up, partly just because life confuses me.

"Good things come to those who wait"
"Good things happen to good people"

What am I missing here? Am I not good enough? Oh wait, I know the answer to that one... NO! I don't get it. I'm nice to those who aren't nice to me, I care about everyone, I go out of my way to help those that I can without expecting anything in return, and I get shit on everytime? Can someone clue me in? I'd appreciate it. I don't think this makes any sense, but you know what? I don't care. Fuck you too. Bite me, and then turn around and kiss my ass. Thats what you do every fucking time. Push me away, then pull me close. Listen to me, make up your mind, because soon I'm going to make it up for you. I don't deserve this... at least I don't think I do? Why does it always happen that when I think someone is different, they turn out to be all alike? This isn't just aimed at men, no, this is at women too. Thats right, every god damned last one of you. You all say "Oh I won't hurt you, I won't cheat on you, I won't leave you, I'm the best girlfriend ever, blah blah blah". If you were that good, you wouldn't be single. Hell, I can classify myself in that, but I don't claim to be the best girlfriend. I know I have my flaws, and I'm pretty straight forward with them. I work on myself to improve them, and thats my own doing. Then you have these girls who have a good thing, but are too impatient to see how things play out so they go in search of something better, leaving the one that cared about them with a broken heart.

Now, men, do I even want to go there? Oh yes, yes I do. YOU GUYS SUCK! You suck as much as us women do. It's kinda like the chicken and the egg question. We all know one of them had to come first, but how can we ever really prove which one did? In the same regard, are men the way they are because of women? Or are women the way they are because of men? Irregardless, theres something we all need to learn. RESPECT! Sing it with me now, R-E-S-P-E-C-T! Find out what it means to me! Thats right, you respect me, and I'll respect you, and we won't have these petty fucking arguments. I don't understand the people that can get upset and just turn and walk away without saying anything. My father is like that. It irritates the fuck out of me. I'm the type of person that needs to talk about shit. Blame that on my mother. Although I guess it's a pretty big double standard... if I'm upset I don't like to talk about it (at least not to the person I'm upset with if there is someone), but I automatically assume that if anyone else is upset they should talk to me about their issues. I'm gonna have to work on that. See? Being drugged up is good. It helps me realize stuff.

I'm going to end my rant for now, but there may be a part deux later. Let me just say this: shit I forgot what I was going to say.