Life Lessons from 2005

1. It's not whether you win or lose, it's how much redbull and vodka you drink
2. Apparently, the more redbull and vodka you drink, the better you shoot pool
3. Never go to a hole in the wall diner at 3am for breakfast. You'll get served by an old decrepit woman who should be lying on her death bed instead of serving and coughing all over your food
4. Even with going to bed at 4am, you can still get up at 11am and make a 5 1/2 hour drive down the beltway
5. No matter how good you think you may be at falling, your opinion will change when you miscalculate and totally pop your shoulder out of socket and need someone else to pop it back in for you
6. Apparently, I'm a better dancer than I thought I was
7. Infact, apparently I'm a pretty damn good dancer
8. Only problem is, I need alcohol to get me to loosen up enough to dance
9. You can go to bed at 3am and get up at 8am and make a 4 1/2 hour drive home
10. No matter how much of a problem someone has, they always blame it on someone else
11. I can control my temper.... sometimes...
12. Bean dip is NOT only refried beans
13. At 10:00 at night after having Friendly's Ice Cream, bean dip is a really funny word
14. Also at 10:00 at night after having Friendly's Ice Cream, it's cool to walk around Walmart with those "Baseball Cap Cleaners" on your head
15. ALSO at 10:00 at night after having Friendly's Ice Cream, the word Salsa gets stuck in your head and you dance around singing the end of the D12 song - My Band
16. The Rocky Horror Picture Show with a live cast doesn't need to be played by the appropriate sexes. Only Brad, Dr. Scott, and Eddie need to be played by men. All the others (Including Frankfurter and Rocky) can be played by big fat disgusting women
17. You can go to bed at 12:30 at night and get up at 5:30 and still be fully functioning for work on Monday even after losing a lot of sleep the previous weekend
18. No matter how small your dog may be, he still makes a great living heater for the nights when your window is broken and its FREEZING in your room.
19. Somehow, it's okay for a man to tell his life partner that she doesn't know how to be a wife, even though he's the one neglecting his marital "duties"