Life Changes/Adjustments

I lost a friend a few months back that meant a lot to me. I considered him one of my best friends. I could talk to him about ANYTHING. He always had the best advice for me, and he was always there for me. In turn, I hope that he felt he could talk to me about anything, and while I wasn't usually able to give him advice (or at least not helpful advice) I was always there for him.

I probably shouldn't call it "lost a friend" because he's still there, just wrapped up in his own life, which is a good thing because it's finally going well for him. However, in this turmoil I have been asked not to contact him, with good reason. It has been killing me a little bit each day to not be able to talk to someone I used to be so close with. I shared things with him that no one else in this world knows. He was able to tell me what I was thinking, even when we were hundreds of miles apart and just talking on the phone. When I was in the hospital, he was the only one of my friends who contacted me to see what was going on and how I was feeling.

This time of year is rough for him because of personal reasons. A day hasn't passed that I've sent out a thought and a prayer for him and his family. It hurts that I can't pick up the phone and call or text him just to let him know that I'm thinking about him.

I've had a lot of things that I've needed to adjust to over the past 6 months, the biggest one being coping with the fact that I have a chronic disease and now really not knowing what the future holds for me, or how long my future will be. I've adjusted to most of the things as best as I can, but for some reason I'm having such a hard time processing this.

I don't know if he's going to read this, but if he does, I just want you to know that I do still care about you. About how you're doing, how thing's are going for you, how your daughters and your father are, how the job/job hunt is going, and things like that. Do I miss the long in depth talks we used to have about everything under the sun? Absolutely, but I understand your situation and I wouldn't even attempt the thought of having talks like that right now. I hope the day comes that we can talk again. God forbid that it doesn't, I hope you have some understanding of how much I cherish the times we had together, be it physically, over the phone or virtually.

The song that I wrote for/about him is getting put to music. It sounds amazing... Once I have an .mp3 copy of it, I'll be posting it on my page for all to hear.

JT - Just know that I miss you. I miss our friendship, and I hope that one day, it comes back.